Should Have Been

Tonight's posting should have been something better and more relevant than this. But I just wanna let it out. It's my blog anyway.

RR sent me his pictures of their trip to San Francisco, CA. And while looking at them, I just realized how much I miss him. "Terribly, madly, crazily" is an understatement.

You know the feeling... You see him in a picture, standing there - that guy/girl you love and then you somehow regret knowing that he or she is just a conglomeration of pixels and will remain as such. That you can't hug them, you can't kiss them, and they won't respond at all.

But let me share with you this saying I got some years ago from Chaps's crush:

"Time and distance is like wind to the fire - it puts off the weak, it enkindles the strong."

And, I'm so glad we fall under the "strong" category. :)

I love you, baby. (I know you're reading my blog, magcomment ka naman! Haha)

Missing you, Jets.

Green.

There was just too much green today. Green as in environmentalism, and green as in "you-know-what-this-is-dirty". :D

Green No. 1: I think I'm experiencing a hang-over of last night's (err, or the other night's) small (small huh? it included no less than 50 guests, and there was DENR Sec. Lito Atienza, no less!) meeting (or party/forum rather?). Anyway, an "environmentalist" (they actually don't want to be called environmentalists, but I forgot the more apt term) anarchical group was formed. It was named GLACC - Global Legal Action against Climate Change.

They were planning to simultaneously file a complaint against LGU's and other government agencies who are violating what are deemed by the Law. The group's mastermind was Atty. Tony Oposa, a lawyer who recently won over several gov't agencies and GOCCs because of their failure to protect Manila Bay. The complaints were supposed to be filed on April 14, 2009, the Earth Day. (Am I right? Hehe.) It's unbelievable and praise-worthy how people, yes uber-busy people, still have the time and energy (some even came all the way from Iloilo) to do such a pursuit.

Green No. 2: So, the hang-over hangs. I was in SM North Edsa just some hours ago, and I'm narcissitically proud of myself. I didn't bring ANY plastic bags home. I bought some items from CD-R King, the supermarket and from Mercury Drug, but I didn't ask (or refused) to take any of their packaging bags because I have a humongous bag with me and it should serve its purpose, I believe.

Anyhow, I think I deserve some clapping. Hehe. Waaay to go, Gwyn!

Green No. 3: I had a mini reunion with my first dorm rummies tonight. We just dined out and chatted like it was the last. Anyway, it's really funny how we never stop when we start talking. I and Leni were babbling like chatterboxes, while Kaye (the graduate) just kept on laughing.

Leni, the green-minded one, (She is the President of Haring-Ibon, an environmentalist org and she also has a "maduming utak". Hehe) joked about being raped. She told us, "Pag may mangre-rape sa'kin, sasabihin ko muna, 'Kuya, papayag akong rape-in mo ako basta may condom at foreplay!" We just LOLed. Loko talaga 'to si Leni. Never fails to make us laugh.

Green No. 4: I voted. Today is the UP Diliman's USC Elections, and I just added a stick on abstain's tally. I have deeper reasons for that. Anyway, Kester Yu, a green revolutionist and independent candidate, won as the number one USC councilor. Some were happy, some were really disappointed. Oh well, let's give the guy a chance. I just hope he's going to give the UP studentry what he was flauting during the campaigns. ;)

-Love, Just Jets.

Test.

Ok, so out of boredom, I read my friend's blog (you can check her on my roll) and cruised through her archives. I got several links to personality tests and got these results.

1. This is the Typealyzer. It says there: "writing style on a blog may have little or nothing to do with a person's self-perceived personality". I don't get it. Anyway, they require you to key in a blog URL and poof! they come out with a result such as this one.

ISTP - The Mechanics

Here's the source.

The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.






2. The second one is the Personality Disorder Test Results. Personality disorder is defined there as "a set of traits that combine to negatively affect your life." Wow, negatively pala ha. Hehe. It's a 72-question test. Here're my disorders. :D

Disorder	Rating	Information
Paranoid:	Moderate	click for info
Schizoid:	Low	click for info
Schizotypal:	Low	click for info
Antisocial:	Low	click for info
Borderline:	Low	click for info
Histrionic:	High	click for info
Narcissistic:	High	click for info
Avoidant:	Low	click for info
Dependent:	High	click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High	click for info

You can click on the links to see each description. Yeah right, I'm OC, narci and histionic. So? Haha! And a bit paranoid, alright.

Just wanna share. ;)

-Love, just jets.

Neutral

I was talking to some of my classmates right after lunch, and we got into some discussions on politics - the highly controversial political debate on student-centered leadership as the main thrust or just a part of one's political agenda.

In the milieu of high cases of politicking inside the school and even outside, there is a high expectation for the Iskolar ng Bayan to at least be critical and not just be apathetic. I, personally, am torn between the advocacy of the elitist or petty bourgeoisie class and the struggle of the masses. There is even another school of thought that empowers the military and elevates it as a stronger institution: that when there is no security, economic development cannot happen.

Anyway, in the discussion that we had, I sided with student-leadership about being just a part of the programs of action of a particular party. And, when my classmates spoke, they were apparently against that idea. They are pro-students - prioritize the immediate needs of the students first (basing on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs). OK, so I realized it was 3 versus 1. I was alone.

And there I was, after the assertive argument I first gave, I was actually thinking of agreeing with them. Since a debate is about to spark, I was almost ready to do a sharp u-turn. Come on!

Well, you can use euphimism and call me a "peace-maker" or you can bash me, be rude and call me a "coward". I've always been that way - always making sure I was on the safe side. I debate, alright, but then, I don't want conflicts. I hate it. But I'm thinking, will I forever be a freelancer and not stand by my ideals and principles? Or is that a positive trait, ie. being neutral?

Good thing the discussion didn't turn out bad, it was an "over-lunch-conversation" anyway. I ended the talk with a reasoning that whatever political beliefs one have is just worthless.

Political parties, rivalries, institutions will not get any better soon. It will come to a hiatus of its existence. Thankfully, something way better will take over. Or rather, the best will take over.

-Love, jets.

i know you're going to read THIS.

i love you so much my baby.

all the way.

nonstop.

you are my everything.

i love you.

-jets

Sugat

Nang nakaraang Sabado, dahil sa pag-iiwas na matapon ang Coke Float ko,
nabangga ko ang aking tuhod sa bakal.
Sugat.

Kahapon, sa pagmamadali ko, naisadsad ko ang matulis na dulo ng aking bolpen sa aking hita.
Sugat.

At kanina lamang, natusok ako ng nakausling pako sa mesang
pinagpapatungan ko ng aking laptop.
Sugat.

Tatlong araw. Isa kada araw. Tatlong pisikal na sugat. Simpleng aritmetik. Simple, pero nais kong bigyan ng pakahulugan.

Sa pang-araw-araw na pamumuhay natin sa mundong ito, hindi lamang isang sugat kada araw ang ating natatamo. Marami dyan sa tabi-tabi. Iba-iba. Maaaring nagkakasugat tayo dahilan sa kagustuhan nating proteksyunan ang iba, sa kagustuhang mauna kaya tayo'y nagmamadali, o kaya's sa pagiging abala natin sa mga bagay-bagay. Gayunpaman, tila wala na tayong magagawa. "Yan ang buhay e," ika nga.

Sana lang, sa kabila ng mga sugat na ito, nariyan ang pag-asa ng paghilom. Balang araw, gagaling din ang gasgas, ang mga tusok at mga pasa... Balang araw, bubuti rin ang lahat.

Nagmamahal, jj.

Write (U.P.)

My kinder “write-up” looked like this:

*full name here*
Birthday: September 20, 1988
Motto in life: “No guts, no glory.”
Ambition: To be a lawyer

It was probably my mom, my teacher or the editors of the yearbook who wrote those things. Now, even if I’m capable to create my write-up, I’d still like to hear about what other people would say about me – the “known to others” side of my Johari window. Here’s something from my high school friend, W**:

"Having the blood of a real Filipina, she exudes confidence and simplicity in all the things that come her way. She handles pressure in school with just a snap of her finger. Possessing an intellectual mind, she maintains to keep her grades high without any marks of stress in her face. With a mind like hers, she can compute numbers without jotting them down and can speak words of wisdom. She never lets negativity rule her word. Optimism is her life. Laughing has never been difficult for her in spite of her problems. She is the best confidante that would never let you down. Socializing with other people is one that could not be denied about her. Once you know her, you would find yourself looking for her company…"

P.S. Such a "tinamad" style. Hehe.

Love, just jets.

Snapshots.Life.Captured

I am currently doing a content analysis on blogs and am checking out the Best Photoblog winner of the 2008 Philippine Blog Awards.

So, let's get into my point. I'm actually jealous.

I have always, always, wanted to take a shot on photography. Would like to try lomo (fish eye! fish eye! fish eye!). Anyway, that will come soon.

For now, I am waiting for my pink card deck/ID-sized camera (courtesy of my him) and will try to photoblog once in a while.

One, two, three, CLICK!

Captured.

Love, just jets.

Thank You.

Photo credits to Tuesday Baliza. 2008.

"Do not be afraid for I am with you.
Do not gaze about for I am your God.
I will fortify you.
I will really help you.
I will keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness."

-Isaiah 41:10

Thank you, Jah, for helping me. Thank you for being my God. I love you. You are my new-found friend.

Help me to change me. :)

-Love, just jets.

Two Minutes

My first intention was to keep this blog to myself, but since my someone (no name dropping, for "semi-anonimity's" sake) asked me a favor to help him tell a story...

It was the eleventh day of November last year. I think it was the fourth time that we were together on our monthsary... But that time, all we had was merely eleven hours. Eleven hours before he was to leave for the States.

That was one of the moments where I felt a strong mixture of feelings: I was tensed, I was excited, I was happy and I was lonely. Being with him is the only blissful thing I can imagine and at that time, I think it was being robbed from me.

I knew he had to go. I knew it is for us and for our future. I knew that it wasn't the end at all. But things are easier said; it was harder to condition your mind. I cried a lot.

Here's the story of that day:

He and I were together the whole day. The sky was gloomy. It surely felt how I feel.

He was in the mood to experience the Philippines as much as he could, like it was his first day here - ever! We were with his uncle, but I think they knew how we needed to spend some time together and alone, so they let us be.

I didn't care where we went, where we sat, where we ate. All that mattered was that I was with him.

1. Our first stop was at the playground at Mall of Asia's own "Baywalk". Yes, we played like we were toddlers - toddlers in love.
2. We had to fill our stomach so we went to Mang Inasal, where they failed to satisfy our cravings in the same fashion like Penong's can. Nonetheless, it was a treat!
3. The whole afternoon, we were nomads. Going to and fro. Roaming around Mall of Asia like a tourist couple.
4. Before the day ended, he made sure he'd said his goodbye's to people who mattered to him.
5. And then we met his uncle, who treated us to dinner. The food was more than enough.
6. And then the drama, or should I say suspense, began...

We left the mall at around 7:45PM, almost certaint that the airport is just less than 10 kilometers away; thus, a 20-minute drive. (His flight is at 10PM.) To our horror, the way to the airport was jampacked and traffic was heavy - so heavy that the vehicles only move about one to two meters every five minutes. (Yes, traffic in Manila is that heavy.) At first, we thought things will be all right. But come 9PM (yes, we were still in between barely-moving cars), we were tensed.

He was already leaning forward because he wasn't relaxed at all. His uncle kept on sighing and thinking of ways how we can get to the airport faster. To add up to the tension, his lola kept on calling and checking up on him. She even warned us of a $100 fine in case the passenger will be late for the flight. I, at the backseat, was praying and teary-eyed.

And so, we though of these ideas in case by 9:30, we are still stuck in traffic.

• Idea No. 1:He will get off the car and run to the airport instead.
• Idea No. 2: We will ask a motorcycle driver for a hitch. Or we can even pay him.

Thank goodness we need not do that, because either way, it will be difficult for him and for me. We arrived at the airport at around 9:40PM, just as soon as the boarding for his plane commenced.

Because of the traffic drama, we were only left with around two minutes to say our "later's" (not goodbye's, we never say goodbye). We cried, said our "I love you's" and renewed our commitments. And then, he had to leave...

Love, just jets.